Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize