Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
