I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
