nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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