I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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