Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
