I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
