Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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