I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Four minutes until I can fart!
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
