You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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