who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
