your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
