I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
A+ Viking dick
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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