now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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