READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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