I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
