if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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