Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
