STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
