Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
