What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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