The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
