Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
where are you?
Hypothermia
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
