watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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