he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I will be naked everywhere
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
my liver is dry heaving
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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