I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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