At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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