How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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