Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
