i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
