I need help removing her.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
