Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
