I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
