dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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