You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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