like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
