On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
