I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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