Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Randomize
