I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
