Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
