somebody snuck up and got me drunk
...so i touched it.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize