yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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