Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Success! We fucked roommates!
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
