our cab driver is having phone sex.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
