"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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