we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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