Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
