I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
