This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
