Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
