Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
