I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
