The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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