One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
