Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
There r osticjed everywhere
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
