she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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