lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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